Overcoming Obstacles: Do these create purpose in your life?
Many of us live our daily lives with worry. We worry about money, health, relationships, and the future, to name a few. We worry if there is enough, if we will have enough, and if we are enough. These worries, however, left to their own devices, can become hypervigilance and take over our lives. We then live burdened by this hypervigilance, and yet it can feel like it's normal. This worry and burden may also create a sense of purpose in life--that overcoming obstacles, small or large, can provide meaning, worth, and value. Sound familiar?
As a Gen Xer growing up in the 80s, I found myself watching movies and reading books about people overcoming struggle and hardships like physical paralysis, eating disorders, and abuse. These were thematically popular during that time, and the messaging that struggle and tragedy creates inner strength and victory stuck in the collective psyche of all of us. But what if it's possible to have inner strength without needing obstacles to overcome?
All this struggle and suffering and worry is deeply embedded in our DNA. Our ancestors experienced unimaginable things--wars, famine, persecution--and those experiences and energies get held in cellular memory throughout the generations and can contribute to hypervigilance and PTSD now. Many of us feel we will be attacked if we aren't looking out, if we let our guard down, or if we're vulnerable. All of this is rooted in our ancestry. We may not have conscious awareness about it, but the programs and patterns still run underneath the surface.
So, if the obstacles are not famine and persecution like our ancestors, then what is the worry or hypervigilance in your life, and what are the benefits? That's right, I'm asking about benefits. Do you feel powerful when you're hypervigilant? I certainly did for years. Do you feel you have some extra insight into things that others don't? Does worrying give you a purpose, a way to focus your energy? Are you a good problem solver and pride yourself on knowing what to do and how to overcome adversity? Are you addicted to the fight/flight adrenaline paradigm? Are you afraid of living with ease?
Our life purpose is not about overcoming obstacles as a way to feel worthy and valuable, despite the programming around this. It is possible to live life without these fears and programs, and it is okay to experience a joyful life. You can still be a good, compassionate, discerning human without the struggle and slog. You can still love and be loved by others without the chronic worry. And you can still be your authentic self in a much lighter energy.
If you'd like to discover who you are beyond the obstacles, please contact me.